It’s not even oh-so-last-decade. It’s oh-so-last-century. We’re done with paper.

I got a check in the mail. Like through the mail slot, in an envelope. Crazy, I know. Wait, it gets even wilder. The address was handwritten and the return address was too! Was this a letter from my great grandmother? No, it was a check from a partner for some work.

I opened the envelope and put the check down on the counter. I work out of a home office, so this was in my home. To be specific, it was in my kitchen. I was about to leap into the 21st century and take a photo of my check to deposit it into my bank when the doorbell rang. Wait, humans visiting? Not just a text? I warned you. It’s another world around here.

The check, sitting on the kitchen counter, got wet. That happens in kitchens. There are faucets and they spew water. We put it in the sun to dry. I suppose we could have (read: should have) put it inside the house, but OK, fine, I’m going ballistic on the honesty here, we put it on our deck. It’s not like we live in Chicago (i.e. the windy city).

At some point, the check was no longer there. It must have blown away. Or a blue jay is using it to build a nest. Or my 10-year old took it (and maybe wanted to ask what it is because kids no longer see paper checks–and why should they?). Or it was just meant to be and it was a sign that I should write a post about how we’re no longer accepting paper checks.

Paper can get wet. Then you can design the bust of George Washington for 3rd grade. That’s called Papier-mâché. That’s a good use of paper.

In fact, I don’t really want paper anything anymore. You can keep your paper bags at the grocery store, I certainly don’t want your paper bills in the mail or your newspapers on my doorstep. I like notebooks of paper, but then I lose them and can’t remember what I wrote or where it is. I like Papier-mâché, but that’s a bit too close to the memory of my last check: wet paper.

I’ve descended to third-grade art projects here. I think it’s time to stop. Suffice it to say, we’re done with paper checks. If you want to send us money, try QuickBooks Online or PayPal or even Square. There are loads of options, we’ll gladly accept any of them. Just don’t mail me a check.


For the record (as if anyone is actually keeping a record), there are some faux pas that we could have avoided here:

  1. I could have put the check in a better spot than on the kitchen counter,
  2. I could have deposited the check immediately with my smart phone,
  3. We might have put something heavy on the check to dry.

But we didn’t. But none of those are my point. My point is that there shouldn’t have been a paper check to begin with.